GRE Philosophy

So on Tuesday, I will be taking the GRE for the second time. Let me first make it clear that I despise standardized testing. I’m not good at it, which I feel is an acceptable reason to hate it, but besides that, I don’t think that standardized testing shows anything about a student’s capability at anything other than taking that particular test. Tests like the SAT, GRE, LSAT and others are taken so often by so many people that there is a ridiculous amount of knowledge and advice out there in the world on how to take them, so that even if you are Reece Witherspoon, you can still get an LSAT score that will get you into Harvard. Yeah, I know it’s a movie, but I still think that proves a point. I mean, if you really spend hours and hours poring over books, websites, blogs, and other media preparing for these tests and you practice your ass off, you can get a good score, but what does that say about you as a person? That you have an inordinate amount of tenacity? Well, good for you! That doesn’t say anything about whether you’ll be a good student in grad school. Not in my opinion, at least.

I suppose if you don’t prepare at all for these tests and still score well, you could be considered a good candidate, but I think this says other things about you: you have a tendency to test well, you have an excellent memory and have therefore remembered everything ever taught you in your classes that would be applicable to this test, and/or you are lucky. But it doesn’t tell me you are smart (in fact, if you go into the GRE totally unprepared, I don’t think you’re smart at all) or going to do well in grad school. Grad school is not a standardized test wherein you can pick A, B, C, D, or E and use the process of elimination, educated guessing, etc. to get it right. In fact, from what I hear, you have to study in grad school, which is something you obviously did not do to take this test.

So, anyway, everyone should know by now that I am just awful at studying. I think it’s because I never had to do it, really. I learn things. And then I use them. Or I bullshit. And somehow I get good grades. That’s really what happens. Take this year’s midterms: I had three of them. For ENG 394, I had only read one thing out of like four or five. One. 96. 90 without the curve. I did study somewhat for it but it was mostly right before class and, oh yeah, I did not take notes on about half of the material, so a lot of it was skimming over things I hadn’t read. Where did that grade come from? Well, I did remember Chaucer’s tales from back in the days of high-school, there were several questions on the text I did read, and there were questions on easy concepts like courtly love. Things you ought to know about as a senior in college. Plus, one of the two essay questions happened to be something I could write very well on. Where did the rest of the grade come from? Bullshit. Really, spectacular bullshit. For REL 323, I tried to study because that’s my favorite class, but I felt like I knew it all. I had done almost all of the readings and taken notes in every class. But I got to the midterm and felt blindsided. I had no idea how to answer hardly any of the short essay questions. And somehow, I got a perfect score on them. I missed three multiple choice questions (MAN HOW I HATE MULTIPLE CHOICE) but got all of the short essays that I completely made up on the spot without a clue as to what I was writing about right. And finally for ENG 462. Now, okay, I did get an 88 on this exam because it’s a little hard to fake it in Eighteenth Century Literature. I actually tried to study really hard for this since I definitely didn’t have hardly any notes and had barely read a lot of it. I don’t know where that 88 came from. Although I definitely got 1 point out of 5 on a question so it was obvious I was trying to make stuff up for things I had no idea about.

The point is, I studied maybe a total of three to five hours for all three of these midterms and got a decent grade on all of them. I did better than many people who actually studied. I am not bragging when I say this – I am in awe of this myself. I distinctly remember feeling like I had failed everything, and yet, somehow, I did not. And I attribute this to part actual real learning in class (supplementing the true lack of studying/reading/note taking), part cramming and adrenaline, and part bullshitting perfectly. Because that’s all it can be.

You can’t bullshit the GRE. You can’t do it. I’m trying real hard, and it’s not working for me. On the first GRE, I got a 550 (75th percentile) Verbal, 620 Math (a dismal 52nd percentile), and 5.5 out of 6 on the writing. You know why? Because you can bullshit writing. And because I am terrible at multiple choice tests. And because I haven’t had math since my senior year of high-school. And because I took the GRE after I spent a weekend at the beach during which I did not study. I didn’t know what was on the GRE until three days before I had to take it. I had no idea that the entire verbal section was basically a ton of vocab words I’d never heard of before in my whole life. I took that math section and that writing section cold. The only thing I attempted to prepare for in my limited time frame was the verbal. And here I sit on a 550. The first time I took the SAT, I got a 610 verbal. The 2nd time I got a 700. Can I do it again?

Well, I sure hope so, because most of the schools to which I am applying have averages of like 730. I need at least a 700 to have a prayer of getting in anywhere. But, once again, I’m super bad at studying for anything. I’m trying though, man, really. For the past three days, I have been simultaneously trying to improve my vocabulary and practice the actual types of questions on the GRE. I’m not going to worry too hardcore about the math. I’m not going to remember any of it on test day anyway. I mean, I’m sure I’ll improve from a 620 to at least a respectable 650, which is all I care about. I mean, on the SAT, I got a 700 verbal/650 math. That’s kinda what I’m hoping for on Tuesday. A 700 verbal would put me in like the 97th percentile for verbal. NOBODY gets that kind of score on the verbal…well nobody who takes the GRE. Whereas a 650 math will still only put me in the 60th percentile…oh well. Even if you get an 800, you’re still only in the 94th percentile. I’m not going to be too damn competitive in math, a subject I didn’t even have to take in college.

I’ve figured out, though, that it’s more about practicing the different types of questions than learning vocab. I just took a practice verbal section, and I only missed 7 out of 30, which I was content with. I want to bring it down to somewhere around 3 or 5 because I figure that’s good enough to get me a 700. Practicing is the most helpful but, frankly, if you don’t know the words, you don’t know the words. At least two of the questions I missed were because I didn’t know the words. On the bright side, I kick ass at reading comprehension. I didn’t miss ANY reading comprehension questions in the section I took. I just missed 3 sentence completion, 2 analogy, and 2 antonym. So maybe if I just step up my sentence completion game, I’ll be good. Cause I’m never going to be any better at analogy then I am right now and antonym really depends on you knowing the words.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the GRE. I’m probably going to cry if I don’t get a 700 verbal and think my life is over, but maybe somebody will take me into grad school anyway. And if they don’t, well, I have a lot of options, I suppose…

Rant: College English Classes

I really wanted to bitch about something and what better place to do that than a blog? This is just a complaint about some trends I’ve noticed in my college English Classes (I’ve taken 20 of them including this semester), particularly that they assign too much reading in literature classes (and occasionally in writing classes as I could argue that perhaps no reading should be assigned in such classes). Now, you may be thinking, “You’re an English major, don’t you like to read? Isn’t it a joy to get to read delicious fiction for your homework rather than do some math problems or a lab report?”

I do see the point of such questions, but there are several things at play here. First, let’s determine what kind of reading is being assigned. Because of requirements, I am occasionally forced into classes that are the least of a few evil choices such as this semester in which I get to take Eighteenth Century Literature and Medieval Women Writers (Studies in World Lit course). Booooo. The reading for these classes is AWFUL 95% of the time. Not my cup of tea. I enjoy modern literature and also the Romantic Period and the likes of Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, etc. In other words, I could go for the 19th century to the present, but that’s about it. Furthermore, I actually tend to prefer male writers for whatever reason. So the first problem is that, while I like to read, I am sometimes forced by requirements to read things I don’t want to. For example, I decided to write this blog post because I finally went online to see what I’m supposed to be reading for my first class tomorrow (the medieval women one) – Letters of Joan of Arc (of which there are 20+ letters), and a “short” biography of her. I could really care less.

So, let’s say that’s not so bad. We often have to read things for classes we would rather not, and we just trudge through it and try to enjoy it or at least finish it. But when you’re reading something you don’t enjoy, it often goes slowly or at least slower than it would if you enjoyed it. This is particularly the case of writing before the 19th century or even way back in the 15th century just because of style and such. So when I’m assigned 40 pages of it, as I am for Medieval Women Writers on Thursday, I feel at a huge disadvantage. It would be difficult and slow reading as it is for me in my position…but 40 pages? Without even a weekend to possibly mull it over (not that I actually do any homework on the weekends, but at least give me the option!).

Alright, let’s say that’s a fluke. Maybe I have to read 40 pages for Thursday but only 1o or 15 for the next class. Except that’s not the case. For that class alone I have 40-60 pages to read for EVERY class for the rest of the semester. I mean, really. That’s a bit crazy.

But let’s say that’s my only English class or my other English classes don’t assign so much reading. Not true either. In fact, probably any person taking Medieval Women Writers or Eighteenth Century Literature is going to be an English major and, therefore, have at least one or two other English classes. Or if they don’t have other English classes, they probably have other humanities classes that require reading (as I do with my religious studies courses). So I end up with approximately 75 to 150 pages of reading every Tues/Thurs and probably about 50 or so every Mon/Wed/Fri. REALLY?!

See, my midterms did not go well. I haven’t gotten the grades back but all three were very difficult. And it was mostly because I hadn’t completed most of the reading. Well, and I suck at studying, but I’m sure having done the reading would have been helpful as well. And it’s not because I’m a bad student or I didn’t want to do the reading (although I didn’t want to in some cases). I literally did not have the time. It’s too much. How can I or anyone be expected to read 80 pages per week for one class when all of us have at least 3 other classes (and in some cases 4 or 5) and probably humanities/English classes at that? It’s ridiculous.

But because my midterms didn’t go well, I was going to try to stick it out after fall break and do all of my reading. Well, I’ve already failed. I haven’t done any of the reading for REL 314 because I couldn’t get it to print out, and I hate reading things on a computer. I attempted to read it on the computer and couldn’t do it. I read 23 pages of what I was supposed to read for ENG 462 but that’s out of 61. Luckily, we’re discussing the same thing on Wednesday so perhaps I can catch up on that tomorrow. For tomorrow, I haven’t done any reading yet. REL 323 is pretty easy to read for because I always enjoy the reading. It’s hard to read for ENG 585 because our only assignment is a research paper (with associated presentations), and we only get 10 points of participation. So I’m kind of like…why even read this article if I’m not going to be tested on any of it? I know I’m going to talk in class anyway. ENG 394 (medieval women writers) is also difficult to read for, but I really need to, I think, if that midterm was any indication.

In other words, I don’t know if I can ever meet my goal of being a good student and doing all of the reading for all of my classes for the rest of the semester. Perhaps things will work out better in my favor next semester.

Other things that annoy me about college English classes? Bunch of stupid people trying to get by with talking bs throughout class. They don’t care about grammar even though they’re in an English class. Pop quizzes, which I think is stupid because even if I did the reading, that doesn’t mean I can remember the mundane thing you want me to remember. My grade being defined by so little. Etc.